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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22559542">Bottled Confessions</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingblankspaces/pseuds/writingblankspaces'>writingblankspaces</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Bottom Kim Jongin | Kai, Childhood Friends, Faintly mentioned Baekyeol if you squint, Guard Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo has an irritating sense of duty, Kyungsoo is stubborn, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Minseok and Chanyeol are Good Friends, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Prince Kim Jongin | Kai, Top Do Kyungsoo | D.O</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 18:20:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,441</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22559542</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingblankspaces/pseuds/writingblankspaces</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyungsoo is just a commoner who likes to play in the woods. One day, he sees a boy in a tree. After many years, he finds out that boy is the only son of the king. A prince. </p><p>After a few more years, Kyungsoo realizes he loves that boy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>139</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Bottled Confessions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His face was drawn tight as he surveyed the courtyard, watching every minor movement like a hawk.</p><p>The poisoning had everyone in the palace up in arms, but Kyungsoo especially so.</p><p>Someone was trying to kill the prince.</p><p>His prince.</p><p>And there was no way he was going to let it happen. As long as there was air in his lungs and breath in his body, he’d remain vigilant and stand guard.</p><p>Behind several doors and equally armed guards, Jongin was asleep. He knew because he’d checked for himself earlier.</p><p>He tried to quell the ugly fluttering of fear brewing in the pit of his stomach, but it wouldn’t fade.</p><p>Something was wrong and Kyungsoo could feel it in his bones. His hand gripped his sword and he scanned the area again before ordering a young soldier to occupy his post.</p><p>With little more than a nod, servants bowed and slid open doors until he was right outside of Jongin’s chambers. From the inner chamber, there were no servants and Kyungsoo’s gripped his weapon tighter, sliding the last door open with trepidation.</p><p>Still and quiet as the night, Jongin was still asleep and well, but that didn’t ease Kyungsoo’s mind.</p><p>Where were the servants? Why weren’t they standing outside the door as they’d been instructed?</p><p>Something was amiss.</p><p>He moved closer and surveyed the room again, taking in each detail. Having only been inside the chambers once, he wasn’t familiar with the layout.</p><p>Whenever Jongin had come to him, it was always in the soldier barracks. Never within the palace and his private quarters.</p><p>But those thoughts and feelings were for a different place and a different time.</p><p>Right now, for his own sanity and wellbeing, he needed Jongin to make it through the night.</p><p>He settled in the corner of the room where he could see both the prince and those who would come in and out the only door.</p><p>He did not sleep, nor did he budge from the spot until the morning servants came to rouse Jongin for his breakfast.</p><p>Even then, he watched as the food taster sampled each of the dishes, as well as the tea and water.</p><p>Sleep addled Kyungsoo’s brain, but he was certain that the taster did not partake of what looked like fresh fruit juice. She simply went through the motions before she presented the tray to the prince.</p><p>It was at that point that Jongin noticed Kyungsoo’s presence and he grinned so brightly, it nearly made the fatigue melt from the soldier’s limbs.</p><p>“General Do, what a pleasure to greet the day with you. Have you been here all night?” Kyungsoo bowed his head and made a humming noise of confirmation.</p><p>He could not speak freely as there were too many eyes and ears.</p><p>“Yes, my prince.” Jongin seemed pleased with this and rose from his table. With a few steps, as the crown prince was rather tall, he crossed the room and took hold of Kyungsoo’s hand.</p><p>“Eat with me. Surely you are tired and deserve respite. After we finish, I would like you to return to your barracks and rest.”</p><p>There was tossing in Kyungsoo’s stomach but it wasn’t like the one from the previous night. Instead, it made his entire body prickle with heat beneath his clothes and light armor.</p><p>Jongin asked a servant to bring another breakfast and within a few moments, Kyungsoo had an identical spread of food in front of him.</p><p>As the taster wasn’t obligated to taste his food, Kyungsoo made use of the metal chopsticks and dipped them in each dish and drink, checking to see if the color changed to show the presence of poison.</p><p>When that didn’t happen, he proceeded to eat, all while making eye contact with Jongin.</p><p>They spoke very briefly of war strategies and philosophy, keeping things very general as servants stood around waiting for them to finish their meal. At one point, Kyungsoo noticed that Jongin went through a great deal to knock over his cup of juice.</p><p>So, he’d seen the taster as well.</p><p>Kyungsoo wished he could’ve grinned at Jongin and mention how sharp his wits were, but then wasn’t the right time or place. Instead, he raised an eyebrow and Jongin mumbled an apology about excusing his clumsiness.</p><p>The entertained look in his eyes was for Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo only and disappeared in a flash.</p><p> </p><p>Kyungsoo finished first, but he lingered until Jongin was done as well. A different servant cleaned up Jongin’s mess and the taster went with her, a sour expression on her small face.</p><p>She would be dealt with later.</p><p>He didn’t need to say it, but Jongin knew that Kyungsoo would see to it himself.</p><p>“It was nice to eat with company. I hope that we can repeat such an instance in the future,” Jongin spoke softly, tucking his arms into the large sleeves of his robe.</p><p>“Of course, your highness. Say the word and it shall be done.”</p><p>The words earned Kyungsoo another smile and he cleared his throat, bowing before taking his leave.</p><p>The prince gave a soft wave and nodded to his servants, silently telling them that he was ready to get dressed.</p><p> </p><p>Eating with the prince had been the most daring thing Kyungsoo had done in a while and when he tried to settle down to sleep, he couldn’t stop smiling.</p><p>The older Jongin got, the more daring he became. Even in the face of danger.</p><p>Kyungsoo knew he shouldn’t feel himself special, but the prince made it more difficult with each passing day.</p><p>Before he drifted off to sleep, the last thing on Kyungsoo’s mind was Jongin.</p><p> </p><p>When he awoke, he found the barracks in disarray and he sat up with a jolt. A younger soldier stopped in his tracks and froze, staring at Kyungsoo with a face pinched in fear.</p><p>“Prince Jongin is missing and they sent me to wake you.” Without further words, Kyungsoo moved quickly in silence.</p><p>Before the soldier could even reach the door, Kyungsoo was dressed and walked behind him, his brow furrowed and his heart hammering away inside his chest.</p><p>Why would Jongin choose now of all times to run off?</p><p>That was his first thought because he didn’t even want to think of the possibility that the prince had been taken or killed. Those weren’t options.</p><p>His body moved by itself and he wound up back at the prince’s quarters, questioning all of his maids and servants. The small soldier followed closely behind him, still shaking like a leaf each time Kyungsoo spared him a glance.</p><p>“I will go search for the prince myself. Minhyung, please keep this situation contained until I am back.” The soldier immediately stood up straight and bowed his head.</p><p> </p><p>Like something from a fantastical novel, Kyungsoo found the prince in the first place he looked.</p><p>Known to only a few of Jongin’s close friends, there was a specific tree that Jongin liked to climb and sit in whenever he had many things on his mind.</p><p>It was the reason why Kyungsoo and Jongin initially met.</p><p> </p><p>Kyungsoo had been running in the woods, in search of a few rare bugs when he saw a pair of legs hanging from the strange tree. Because it sat precisely in the middle of the forest and was surrounded by Kyungsoo’s favorite hiding spots, he’d come to have fond thoughts about the tree.</p><p>The roots were gnarled and tangled around all the other trees in the nearby areas as if it were protecting them.</p><p>In one of the higher branches, there was an extravagantly dressed boy sitting and swinging his legs as he stared blankly at the plush green tops of other trees that Kyungsoo knew the boy could see. After all, he’d climbed the tree and sat in the same place countless times.</p><p>“What are you doing?” The boy looked down, startled and he stared at Kyungsoo with wide eyes.</p><p>From his face, Kyungsoo could tell they were similar in age, but there was something innocent and soft reflected in the boy’s eyes.</p><p>“Thinking. Who are you?”</p><p>“Do Kyungsoo, and you?” The boy tilted his head in thought and pressed his lips together, almost as if he was debating if he would lie to Kyungsoo or tell his name.</p><p>“You can just call me Nini.” Kyungsoo scrunched up his face and shook his head.</p><p>“That name sounds stupid. Like a baby’s name. Tell me your real one,” the boy’s, Nini’s, lip quirked into a smirk and he shook his head.</p><p>“I promise it’s one of my names. If you knew my other one, you wouldn’t believe me.”</p><p>Kyungsoo didn’t know who the kid was, but he was rather agitating so he decided to just go about his own business and ignore the boy.</p><p>He resumed his search for bugs and only stopped when the boy called out to him.</p><p>“What are you doing, Kyungsoo?” Kyungsoo looked up briefly and shrugged, then went back to picking up rocks and crouching to the ground, trying to find more black beetles.</p><p>There was a rustle of leaves and by the time he’d moved over some other rocks, an additional shadow and footsteps were trailing him.</p><p>The boy had climbed down from his perch and was currently following him like a lost puppy.</p><p>“Why are you following me?”</p><p>“Let’s be friends.” Kyungsoo narrowed his eyes and studied the boy’s face again, searching for a reason to decline.</p><p>Not finding anything, he crossed his arms and shook his head, “not until you tell me your name.”</p><p>The boy pouted and stared at Kyungsoo like he hoped the other would budge.</p><p>He did not.</p><p>“Fine, my name is Kim Jongin.” That sounded believable enough, so Kyungsoo nodded and continued his search.</p><p>“Well Jongin, I’m looking for black beetles. My friend is in trouble and can’t leave his house, so I’m collecting some for him,” Jongin crouched down next to him and started moving rocks as well. “Are you sure that you should be doing all of this in those fancy clothes? Won’t your parents get mad?”</p><p>At the mention of parents, Jongin got a sad look on his face and he shook his head, “they’ll probably just be mad that I ran from my nurse and tutors again.”</p><p>Kyungsoo didn’t know what kind of life Jongin lived, but he felt a little bad for the boy.</p><p>“Well then, let’s go to this cool cave I know. There are more beetles there.” In his childish mind, he thought that was the appropriate reaction to Jongin’s words and in some way, it was.</p><p>From that point on, Kyungsoo saw Jongin many more times and they would play together like they’d been best friends all their lives.</p><p>When Kyungsoo decided to serve in the royal military, Jongin congratulated him with a conflicted expression.</p><p>No matter how much Kyungsoo tried to pry the reason why out of him, he kept it to himself. Even when Kyungsoo went on about how he would miss just hanging out with Jongin whenever he had free time from the cooking job he’d acquired earlier the same year.</p><p>It was only when Kyungsoo came face to face with Jongin again a few weeks later within the palace walls, that he started to understand why Jongin had looked so conflicted.</p><p>After a few more moments for things to make sense, then his smile morphed into something harder. More hurt.</p><p>“I wanted to tell you. I really did,” Jongin started, his eyes darting from side to side as he kept looking around them like he was afraid of being caught talking to Kyungsoo.</p><p>That hurt as well.</p><p>“Is this why I had to beg you to tell me your name all those years ago?”</p><p>Jongin nodded and gave him a sad smile before he engulfed him into a hug.</p><p>Compared to the embraces they’d shared out in the woods throughout their childhood, it seemed ingenuine but Kyungsoo stayed still and let it happen. He knew that Jongin could feel how rigid his body was but made no moves to stop.</p><p>“You’re the best friend I’ve ever had and I never wanted to lose you. Even then,” Jongin whispered, right in his ear.</p><p>It shouldn’t have made him feel the way he did because they were friends but the feelings he’d held for Jongin--Crown Prince Jongin--had long surpassed that of friendship.</p><p>So much so, that it made him scared.</p><p>What would happen if they were caught embracing like this? Would rumors go around the palace? Would they remove Kyungsoo from his post?</p><p>When Jongin finally pulled away, Kyungsoo saw the same questions he was asking himself clouding over Jongin’s eyes. He knew the risks as well.</p><p>Even if they were only friends, being friends with a royal meant loads of unpleasantries, particularly when one was a lowborn as Kyungsoo.</p><p>From that first moment, Jongin was careful how he interacted with Kyungsoo in public until several years had gone by and Kyungsoo had earned himself notoriety on the battlefield. When Kyungsoo was placed as head of Jongin’s royal guard by the prince himself, things really started to change.</p><p>Instead of stopping by to watch the soldiers spar amongst themselves, Jongin began to join in, wanting to challenge Kyungsoo himself.</p><p>At first, it’d horrified the soldiers and they dropped the familiarity that usually came with their playful matches, only speaking when spoken to and referring to both Jongin and Kyungsoo by rank only.</p><p>It was only when Kyungsoo forgot himself and bested the prince, pressing a wooden sword to his throat as he grinned like a maniac, that things took a different direction.</p><p>The shocked gasps from the people around them reminded Kyungsoo that he and Jongin weren’t just in the forest, fooling around amongst themselves. Instead, they were in front of many people who were mortified at his audacity to not let the prince overpower him.</p><p>Just as one of Kyungsoo’s superiors shuffled onto the field to scold and berate him for making Jongin look weak, Jongin only grinned and reached out his hand. Without a second thought, Kyungsoo pulled him onto his feet and mumbled an apology before bowing.</p><p>“There’s no need for that. General Do has reminded me that with all these lessons and counseling meetings are weakening my reflexes. To serve you all when my time comes, I should be well rounded. Thank you, General Do. Know that I will be anxious until I have had my victory.” Kyungsoo let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding and he nodded.</p><p>Jongin then leaned closer and he repeated his words, albeit less flowery and cordial and with more colorful, rough words.</p><p>It brought a smile to Kyungsoo’s face.</p><p>Following that, things became less stuffy and formal whenever Jongin insisted that he could through the paces and exercises with the rest of the soldiers. It didn’t stop his servants, tutors, and advisors from fretting over the possibility of an injury, but the soldiers became more comfortable with him.</p><p> </p><p>Now as Jongin’s feet were swinging from the tree and his face was upturned towards the sun, Kyungsoo just stared up at him.</p><p>“You should have let me know you wished to run off. I could’ve quelled the panic much better if you had.” Jongin stared down at him and smiled before he shrugged.</p><p>“It was a spur of the moment, fleeting thought. I wanted to meet you privately anyway,” Jongin brushed off. Before he’d left the palace, he must’ve changed his clothing to something much more simple because it made Kyungsoo feel like he was in the past again and he and Jongin were teenagers again.</p><p>“You could have sent for me,” Kyungsoo sighed, silently relieved as his heart slowed.</p><p>He would go to Jongin at any time, no matter the reason. They both knew that.</p><p>Jongin hummed in affirmation and he sat down on a large rock, patting the one next to him.</p><p>“They want me to marry.” Kyungsoo trained his face to not react and he nodded slowly, cursing inwardly as he felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach.</p><p>“Well, you are the crown prince and when you take the throne, it will only be right that you have a fitting queen beside you,” even as he spoke the words, they felt like dirt and grit in his mouth.</p><p>Again, Jongin could tell.</p><p>“Yes, so everyone says. My mother is especially keen on the thought of more heirs.” He was tired and it was reflected in his voice.</p><p>Silence lingered between them for a few moments, then Kyungsoo took a chance.</p><p>“Maybe, you can say that you wish to focus your energy elsewhere. If you also tell the king that you wish to learn more about the military, it will lift his spirits because he has been very interested in your improvement with a sword. He may be able to pacify your mother.”</p><p>Jongin seemed to give the idea some thought and he gave Kyungsoo a bright smile, “see this is why we’re so close. You always give the best advice. Not to mention, if I trained with the army, I would be able to see you more.”</p><p>If Kyungsoo could have removed his heart from his chest and put it to rest in his pocket, he would’ve. Jongin was taking him from extreme lows to highs and he wasn’t sure his poor heart could take much more.</p><p>“Have you spoken your heart’s burdens?” Jongin blinked a few times and took a deep breath, then he gave Kyungsoo a nod.</p><p>“Yes. Let’s go back.”</p><p> </p><p>Upon first sight of the prince unharmed and in Kyungsoo’s custody, his servants let out a collective sigh of relief.</p><p>“Prince, you must let us know when and where you are going. Now is a very sensitive time for the royal family, you know this. At the very least, please inform your servants and guards when you wish to come and go,” the woman spoke with her gaze glued to the ground, yet her voice held a serious tone.</p><p>“She is right, please, at the very least, inform me when you wish to run off,” Kyungsoo added, his gaze also on the ground. Jongin waved his hand dismissively and headed into his room, flanked by several servants holding pieces of clothing and fussing about him wearing common robes.</p><p>By the time dinner was served, the unrest from Jongin’s sudden disappearance had settled and things settled back into the usual routine. The only variant was that while Jongin ate his dinner alone, Kyungsoo was in the bowels of a far off building, staring at Jongin’s previous food taster.</p><p>“Why did you pretend to drink the juice? Surely you do not take me nor the prince for stupid? Whoever has sent you needs to take more care at picking those who serve their purpose.” Kyungsoo’s voice was cold and the haggard-looking woman stared back in defiance.</p><p>“It does not matter. If I fail and am killed, then another will take my place. We will not be stopped. The people have had enough of the monarchy and so-called ‘being chosen by the Gods.’ There is another more qualified to rule than a spoiled young boy.” The words dripped from her tongue like venom and Kyungsoo narrowed his eyes.</p><p>His patience had run out the moment he’d stepped foot in the torch-lit room.</p><p>“How dare you question the divine position that the Kim family holds. Just for those words alone, I should rid you of your tongue, but I lack the time and patience. I would much rather you be gone from this world,” as Kyungsoo spoke, he motioned his hand and a soldier handed him his sword.</p><p>The look in the woman’s eyes when Kyungsoo unsheathed it and held it before her, made his stomach curdle. There was a wild look of excitement and she held her neck high as if she were encouraging him to cut it.</p><p>Something wasn’t right about this woman and Kyungsoo felt that there was some truth to the statement. They had tortured and questioned many since the initial poisoning, but had found very little information.</p><p>“We should keep her alive and see if we can find out more…” Minseok sighed from the corner as he eyed the crazed woman in disgust, “you shouldn’t dirty your sword with the likes of her.”</p><p>He was right and Kyungsoo knew it, so he sheathed his sword and turned away as he muttered a dismissive, “lock her up then. We’ll see.”</p><p> </p><p>Before Kyungsoo settled himself for the night, he took a visit to Jongin’s quarters. The other was preparing for bed and his face visibly brightened when he saw Kyungsoo. Immediately, he sent the few servants milling around the room out.</p><p>“We decided to leave her alive to get more information. We need to figure this out before it gets any further,” Kyungsoo spoke quickly, hardly waiting until the door closed behind the servants.</p><p>Jongin nodded and patted the edge of his bed, signaling that he wanted Kyungsoo to sit beside him.</p><p>With a slight flush, which he silently blamed on the warmth in the warm, he took the seat.</p><p>“I’m sure you and Minseok will get to the bottom of it before long. Thank you for your hard work.” Kyungsoo watched Jongin’s lips as he spoke, completely mesmerized by how they curved in the smile that always seemed to be there when they were alone.</p><p>In between the time it took him to blink and for Jongin to finish speaking, the prince leaned in and gave Kyungsoo a soft kiss. His equally soft hand reached to caress his cheek. Kyungsoo could only stare in shock, completely frozen as his brain tried to make sense of the last few moments.</p><p>“Was I too presumptuous?” Jongin asked, withdrawing his hand like he’d touched an open flame. Kyungsoo swallowed hard and reached for Jongin’s hand, taking it in his own rougher one.</p><p>“Never. I just, are you sure?” He wanted to pinch himself to ensure that he wasn’t asleep and dreaming, but Jongin didn’t give him the chance.</p><p>He leaned in and kissed him again, but this one lingered more than the first. Salty, yet sweet, Kyungsoo leaned into it and raised a shaky hand to cradle Jongin’s sharp jawline. One of Jongin’s hands flattened against Kyungsoo’s chest and stayed there as they continued to kiss.</p><p>When they finally pulled apart, Kyungsoo felt lightheaded and still couldn’t believe what was happening. With Jongin’s hands still on his body, Kyungsoo tried to get ahold of himself.</p><p>“They requested my presence at dinner and have already decided on a wife. Perhaps this was selfish of me, but I wanted to follow the wishes of my heart. Even if it was just this once,” Jongin mumbled, looking at Kyungsoo with sad eyes.</p><p>“They want to invite another in the palace while we are figuring out who is behind the poisoning?” His heart was fragmented and splintering his chest, but he needed to hold it together for both of them.</p><p>He had to think logically for he could attend to his aching heart when he was alone.</p><p>“It seems as though they were already in the midst of preparations when the poisoning happened. As usual, they wish to keep up appearances and want to continue with things. I will meet her in a week’s time.”</p><p>“Then I shall find the culprit before then. For the sake of the family. For you.” Jongin squeezed Kyungsoo’s hands and shook his head.</p><p>“You shouldn’t push yourself. I only wanted to tell you because I owed this to you. I’ve always had feelings for you, even when we were foolish kids. I know you feel the same. I can feel it in the way you kissed me,” Jongin met his eyes and studied him like he was looking for something, “put duty aside for a moment. Please tell me your feelings.”</p><p>Kyungsoo opened his mouth, then shut it several times before he settled on the right words.</p><p>“We share the same thoughts, but I cannot allow you to let something foolish like love make you think of doing something unthinkable. As much as I would love nothing more than to stand by your side, I cannot. We both know that. I can only stand in your shadow and protect you with everything in my being.” The words sizzled and burned his tongue.</p><p>Jongin looked unaffected and he blinked a few times before making his eyes hard as steel.</p><p>“I won’t ever feel for her like I feel for you. Never.”</p><p>Kyungsoo gave a hard nod and stood up, “do as you wish Jongin, but know that we cannot be together. I accepted that a long time ago and it seems like I will need to give you time to do so as well.”</p><p>For Jongin’s own sake Kyungsoo had to break his heart.</p><p>They weren’t the same kids with such small views of the world that they’d been when they met. Now, Jongin was next in line to inherit the throne of his aging father and as such he needed to make certain things happen. He couldn’t let Jongin shrug off his responsibilities.</p><p>Kyungsoo, against his better judgment, stayed for a few moments and looked at Jongin, watching as his words filtered through the other’s mind. There was no hurt or surprise, rather it seemed like he expected Kyungsoo’s reaction.</p><p>There were no further words exchanged as Kyungsoo bowed and left Jongin’s bedroom, his lips still burning from Jongin’s kiss.</p><p>With each step he took, his heart further splintered into tiny pieces and cut him with each breath.</p><p> </p><p>To anyone familiar with Kyungsoo’s usual pattern, it became quite obvious that he was avoiding Jongin or rather he was choosing to not be in the prince’s presence.</p><p>As head of his guard, this seemed impossible but because Kyungsoo also held many other duties, he simply delegated things to his most trusted. After all, just because he couldn’t bear to be in close quarters with Jongin didn’t mean he would slack on his job.</p><p>Jongin meant entirely too much to him.</p><p>Minseok took the morning duty, Chanyeol the afternoon and Sehun did the evening and night guard. They were Kyungsoo’s most competent soldiers and he knew they would take their duties as seriously as he did.</p><p>Could it be because of their deep respect for Kyungsoo or because they were aware of his feelings? Either way, Kyungsoo felt no anxiety leaving the three of them to the job.</p><p>“Do you think they had a lover’s spat?” Minseok asked, eyeing Kyungsoo as he purposefully took the long way through the garden to avoid having to see Jongin drinking tea with his sisters.</p><p>“No, I think it was more than that because Prince Jongin kept inquiring about Kyungsoo’s absence, but he just looks sad. I feel bad,” Chanyeol answered, standing up straight when he caught Kyungsoo’s watchful gaze.</p><p>It was just about time for them to switch places and Kyungsoo was watching from afar as several higher ranking generals spoke to him about something else. Both men could also see that Jongin kept sneaking glances across the garden as well.</p><p>“I hope they fix it soon. Following around the Prince during the day is boring,” Chanyeol whined, making a show of stomping his foot. Minseok gave him a humored look and patted him on the back before he left, signaling the end of his shift.</p><p>“Jongin’s sisters have come back to the palace because they all want to see his fiance, so that might explain both the tension and the reason why Jongin looks so sad. He and Kyungsoo have been with each other for almost two decades now.”</p><p>Chanyeol’s eyes got big and he gawked at Jongin, quickly fixing his face when one of the princesses turned towards them.</p><p>“I knew they were friends, but I hadn’t realized that they’d been with each other for so long…”</p><p> </p><p>The day Princess Soojung and her mother arrived at the palace was a quiet, cold one.</p><p>With the weather slipping from the gentle caress of fall to the tight grip of winter, the wind was cold. Despite this, Soojung was ushered into the throne room and looked completely unperturbed by the weather.</p><p>Flushed cheeks, flat eyes, and a classically beautiful face, both Sehun and Chanyeol openly gawked at her from their posts.</p><p>For once, Kyungsoo was also present, so he smacked both of them and they diverted their gaze to the ground lest the princess or the other members of the royal family spare them a glance.</p><p>“She’s a rare beauty. A fitting flower for a prince.” Kyungsoo spoke softly, no emotions reflected on his carefully blank face. After his first glance at Princess Soojung, he also diverted his eyes and now spoke the quiet words to Sehun and Chanyeol.</p><p>While they agreed with the initial part of his statement, they wanted to protest against the second piece.</p><p>The prince didn’t want a flower. He wanted a soldier.</p><p>Even the prince’s look of disinterest as Soojung bowed to him spoke volumes of his disinterest in the arrangement.</p><p>As were the rumors in the palace, if the marriage went through, then there wasn’t even a slight chance that they could learn to love one another. The marriage would be loveless and they would probably only lay together to consummate the marriage and obtain heirs.</p><p> </p><p>The private meetings between the prince and princess were supervised by a few, carefully selected servants and the respective party’s guards stood outside.</p><p>“She is just as much against this marriage as he is,” one of the princess’ guards mentioned, attempting to strike up a conversation with Sehun, Chanyeol, and Minseok.</p><p>“Princess Soojung loves another. A woman,” another guard spoke. It pulled a sharp gasp from Chanyeol, which he reeled in quickly when Minseok and Sehun shot him deadly glares.</p><p>“It is the same for our prince. He’s in love with someone else as well, but it seems that this marriage will be political and there’s not much either of them can do about it.”</p><p>Minseok’s words were the truth and the guards were coming to accept that, just as the two people inside the room were.</p><p> </p><p>“We might as well go along with this marriage because we can’t do anything else,” Soojung mentioned as she raised the cup to her lips.</p><p>The servants were just outside the door, so they could hear the conversation.</p><p>“I do not wish to make you miserable.”</p><p>“You will not make me miserable. We will serve this country well as we are.” The roundabout way that Soojung was talking made Jongin look up from the intricate design on the small table between them.</p><p>“As we are?” Soojung nodded.</p><p>Jongin lowered his voice and leaned further on the table towards Soojung, “your words tell me that you also have another person in your heart?”</p><p>Another nod, though Soojung’s jaw was set tight as she did so.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Excitement flowed just beneath Jongin’s skin and he thought about Soojung’s words again.</p><p>“I hadn’t expected to find another like myself, so then yes. Let us marry since we have an understanding.”</p><p>As orchestrated, the chosen servants reported back to the parents of the prince and princess and arrangements were immediately made.</p><p>Jongin walked Soojung, along with her servants and guards, to her temporary quarters, then retreated to his own for the night.</p><p> </p><p>The next morning, the palace was abuzz with excitement from the prince’s marriage rumors.</p><p>“I heard she would put even the royal concubines to shame. She’ll match the prince well. One can only imagine the children she will bear.” one of the cooks sighed as she served the soldiers their breakfast.</p><p>Kyungsoo gave a stiff nod and shoveled his food into his mouth in silence. For everything to happen as it should, he would suffer through this and a million times more.</p><p>For Jongin’s sake.</p><p> </p><p>“You should stop avoiding the prince.” Minseok sighed, having had enough after a certain point. There were only so many things he was willing to do both out of respect and pity for Kyungsoo.</p><p>“The prince requires more than I can provide to him,” Kyungsoo spoke, his words curt.</p><p>It didn’t deter Minseok though and he kept pushing, urging Kyungsoo to stop running away with his tail between his legs. He also got Chanyeol and Sehun in on it as well.</p><p>“You cannot avoid him forever. Especially once he takes the throne.” Sehun tried a few days following Minseok’s attempt. He’d cornered Kyungsoo after they’d bathed and because of Sehun’s height, it was rather effective.</p><p>Chanyeol joined a moment later and Kyungsoo pieced together that they’d all conspired against him.</p><p>“Listen, none of you are familiar with the situation and that fact alone tells me that you have no place in your meddling. I cannot give him what he wants for the sake of everyone.”</p><p>Both of the taller men crossed their arms over their bare chests and shook their heads.</p><p>“To hell with everyone. You must live as you wish because who knows what the next life will hold,” Chanyeol spoke in an even tone.</p><p>His face was set in a serious expression and it made Kyungsoo take a step back. “An opportunity to be with the one I loved passed me because I did what you are doing. Often, we need to leave things to fate. I wish I had.”</p><p>Chanyeol’s eyes took on a sad expression and Kyungsoo felt his heart clench in his chest.</p><p>Perhaps they were not completely unfamiliar with his situation.</p><p>Instead of giving them a response, Kyungsoo walked brushed past them and retreated to his bed.</p><p> </p><p>All night, he tossed and turned in his bed, thinking of Chanyeol’s words. And of the cook’s.</p><p>His heart yearned for Jongin and had since they were no more than children, but now that Jongin was due to take the throne at any moment, their time to be together had passed.</p><p>Or so Kyungsoo thought. Yet, who was he to test and dictate fate.</p><p>A cruel mistress with little regard for anyone but herself, Kyungsoo was no more a pawn to her.</p><p>So how could he say that their time had passed? What if all the signs were telling him that now was the time?</p><p>Everything else be damned.</p><p>Kyungsoo’s eyes wrenched open and he sat up, staring into utter darkness while his blood pumped, coursing with adrenaline.</p><p>He pulled on his outer robes and slipped into his shoes before taking a lesser-known way to Jongin’s quarters.</p><p> </p><p>It only took him a few moments, but the walk over had felt like an eternity as he raged with his thoughts and heart.</p><p>For once in his life, Do Kyungsoo was following his heart and the logical thoughts in his mind rebelled.</p><p>This would cause nothing but disaster and at absolute worst, he could be executed.</p><p>Of course, the logic seemed at a loss when Kyungsoo slid open the door after nodding at Chanyeol and Jongin was awake.</p><p>Dressed in his typical white garments, he was seated at the edge of his bed, staring at the door.</p><p>Like he’d expected Kyungsoo’s visit, though the surprised expression on his face told otherwise.</p><p>“Kyungsoo,” he spoke carefully like he was unsure he could believe his eyes.</p><p>“Crown Prince Jongin,” Kyungsoo started, closing the door behind him before he drifted closer, “Kim Jongin. I am a coward. I’ve realized that now and I can no longer hide behind my sense of duty and concern for the country. I won’t allow myself to miss out on something that fate has dropped right at my feet.”</p><p>Confusion was apparent on Jongin’s face, but he said nothing. He only listened to Kyungsoo talk.</p><p>The space between decreased until Kyungsoo stood right in front of Jongin, his eyes wide and unintentionally shining with tears.</p><p>“I love you. I really love you and I can longer avoid you because it is tearing me apart,” with that Kyungsoo sank to his knees and rested his arms on Jongin’s thighs, looking up at him.</p><p>Tears threatened to fall from his eyes, but Jongin tipped his head up and his hand, leaning down to press their mouths into a soft kiss.</p><p>This one didn’t burn but simmered and made Kyungsoo feel like he was burning from the inside. Soft hands pulled him up from his knees when they broke apart and pulled him forward until he was on top of Jongin.</p><p>“Many nights, I’ve dreamed of this. Of you having me like this and I always wondered how I would give myself to you,” Jongin sighed, holding Kyungsoo’s face between his hands and looking up at him like he was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.</p><p>Just like on the walk over, Kyungsoo’s body was brimming with heat, though now it was a bit more focused below his waist. And if the press of Jongin’s arousal against his thigh was anything to go by, he wasn’t the only one feeling it.</p><p>“Give yourself to me? Has our prince never lain with another?” Jongin shook his head and darted his tongue out to lick his bottom lip.</p><p>Jongin, having been raised to be a king, had very few gives when he felt immense emotion. One of them was licking his lips whenever he became nervous. Kyungsoo had parsed that out when they were mere teenagers.</p><p>Now as he saw the sign, a shiver went down his back. Jongin was indeed untouched.</p><p>Kyungsoo was no expert himself, but he’d had his fair share of lovers in the past. Particularly when he joined the military. Those who desired the touch of other men seemed plentiful within the ranks, both high and low.</p><p>“Then,” Kyungsoo paused because his voice came out thick because this was overwhelming even to him, “I shall take care of you.”</p><p> </p><p>Unlike the others Kyungsoo had held before, everyone on Jongin was soft.</p><p>His hands, his caresses, and even his voice heightened in pleasure were <em>soft</em>.</p><p>All it did was spur on Kyungsoo’s shameless arousal as his own rougher hands explored Jongin’s long expanse of limbs.</p><p>His thighs and lips parted for Kyungsoo, beckoning him closer with each moan and uncertain yet lust-driven roll of his hips.</p><p>When he finally wrapped his hand around Jongin’s cock, he cried out without thought to the fact that they might be overheard. Kyungsoo should’ve been worried as well, but he had faith in Chanyeol.</p><p>He would ensure, at the very least, that no one but himself stood guard in the innermost chamber of Jongin’s quarters.</p><p>He’d never said this, but the look on his face when he’d seen Kyungsoo brush past him to walk into Jongin’s quarters spoke volumes.</p><p>“Kyungsoo,” Jongin growled, his eyebrows furrowing as Kyungsoo’s hand kept slowly stroking him, “if you continue like this, I will co-co-” Jongin stuttered out, not even able to bring himself to say the word.</p><p>“If that is what you’d like to do, then don’t be ashamed. I can simply wipe my hands,” Kyungsoo sighed, a smile on his lips as he spoke quietly.</p><p>“Not like this. I would rather reach that point with our bodies joined together,” Jongin rambled, speaking quickly. As if he thought that if he got the words out quick enough, the embarrassment of them would not reach him.</p><p>He was mistaken because when he saw Kyungsoo’s reaction, he reddened from his chest to his face.</p><p>The arousal that coursed through Kyungsoo’s body reached yet another pique and he squeezed Jongin’s arousal before moving away, in search of oil.</p><p>Jongin seemed to understand he moved a bit until he pulled a half-used glass vial from beneath his pillow.</p><p>At the quirk of Kyungsoo’s eyebrow, Jongin let out a peal of mirthful laughter.</p><p>“While I have never lain with another, you are a fool if you think I am a stranger even to my own touch.”</p><p> </p><p>The heavy breathing from Jongin as he adjusted to the foreign feeling of fingers inside his body only aroused Kyungsoo further. Especially when Jongin let a strangled moan and moved his hips downward, trying to chase Kyungsoo’s withdrawing fingers.</p><p>Jongin’s enthusiasm aided Kyungsoo in making quick work of working another finger inside of him as he twitched his hips and pressed his balled fist into the silk sheets.</p><p>“Mo-more,” he begged after the third finger. It was also after Kyungsoo found that part inside of him that made Jongin’s entire body shake.</p><p>Even after begging, Jongin still made a noise of disappointment when Kyungsoo withdrew his fingers. The small pout that followed, however, was short-lived when he watched Kyungsoo finish undressed, take ahold of himself and stroke while he poured oil.</p><p>“And you are certain that will fit?” Jongin asked, sounded equally curious and amazed.</p><p>It almost made Kyungsoo want to laugh because he was reminded of their early friendship when he exposed Jongin to common things like street food.</p><p>At that point though, Kyungsoo was too far gone to laugh and when he settled between Jongin’s warm thighs again, finally feeling Jongin’s skin against his own, his thoughts turned to porridge.</p><p>“If you are patient, my prince.” Something went soft in Jongin’s eyes at the endearment and he nodded, his hands balling into small fists when Kyungsoo pushed forward slowly.</p><p>Only when their bodies were pressed flush against one another did Jongin’s hands come to rest around Kyungsoo’s neck.</p><p>Even though it was difficult staying still with the warmth and tightness of Jongin’s body surrounding him, Kyungsoo managed it.</p><p>Jongin didn’t say, but Kyungsoo could tell that he was adjusting because his breathing was uneven and there was tension in his arms.</p><p>“Move, please,” Jongin spoke, his voice lower now, both in volume and pitch.</p><p>Kyungsoo obeyed and moved, withdrawing a bit before he pushed back forward, pulling a sharp inhale from Jongin.</p><p>The tension in arms had melted and now they were wrapped loosely as Kyungsoo continued to move his hips.</p><p>During the entire time, Jongin’s eyes stayed on Kyungsoo’s face.</p><p> </p><p>In almost silence, their bodies moved together as if in sync and when Jongin finally seemed to get completely used to things, he wrapped his legs around Kyungsoo’s waist.</p><p>He wasn’t experienced in a matter so intimate, but his natural mannerisms felt so erotic and made Kyungsoo feel like fire flowed in his veins.</p><p>The whispers right into Kyungsoo’s ear of how good Kyungsoo was making him feel and how close he was made the hair stand up on Kyungsoo’s neck and made him hold Jongin’s tighter.</p><p>Kyungsoo wasn’t sure when Jongin reached between to stroke himself, but when the one arm thrown around his neck tightened and Jongin’s cheeks flushed, he knew the other was coming.</p><p>Which was welcomed, because he had been at the edge of coming for several moments. He had simply held himself back until Jongin felt as good as him.</p><p>Finally, as he picked up the pace, Jongin let out a gasp and Kyungsoo felt wet, sticky heat splatter on his stomach and the unbearable tightness came soon after it.</p><p>He moved his for a few moments then finally let go, his head going light as he came with a quiet groan of Jongin’s name as he held him close.</p><p> </p><p>When he finally gathered himself, Jongin was running a light hand down his back.</p><p>“I’ll have to bathe come the morning time,” at the realization of the mess they’d made of Jongin’s silk bedding, Kyungsoo sat up with alarm and pulled away from Jongin, “but, I don’t mind. The bedding also does not matter, as it is changed every morning.”</p><p>Kyungsoo relaxed and he gazed at Jongin, watching the other lounge amongst the soiled sheets, looking every bit of debauched. It stirred the arousal in his gut again and he cleared his throat.</p><p>“I need to leave soon. You need to rest and I cannot be caught in your chambers in this state,” Kyungsoo gruffed. As usual, Jongin saw through it and grinned, moving closer to Kyungsoo.</p><p>“If I had it my way, you would end the night in my chambers and begin the day there as well.” In any other circumstances, such a grandiose statement after lovemaking would be met with a scoff, but he knew Jongin was serious.</p><p>It was dangerous, just how frank Jongin was with his feelings towards him, but Kyungsoo had decided to accept them wholeheartedly.</p><p>As long as Jongin would have him, he would stay by his side, even if it meant he was standing in the shadows.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yes, um, hi hi~ </p><p>This is officially the first non-update piece I've written for the year 2020. Honestly, I wanted to finish it for Kaisoo day, but life comes at you hard and also I'm very very very lazy. So please accept this as an early Valentine's Day offering. </p><p>Secondly, I actually looked it up and using metal chopsticks to test for poison was totally a thing...I like thought it was, but to have it confirmed was L I T. </p><p>I've been itching to write historical KaiSoo for a while and since my twitter is always filled with plot ideas, here we are.</p><p> <br/>If you have any questions about this fic or any of my other fics, feel free to ask me here<a href="https://curiouscat.me/writingblankspaces"></a>.</p><p>~Follow me on <a href="https://twitter.com/wblankspaces">Twitter~</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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